Women in science, or a follow-up to the zombie Marie Curie cartoon

The role of women in science has been a recurring topic in my circle of friends lately. My circle of female friends that is, not all of them scientists but somehow related to the academic life.
It is widely believed that academia is an ivory tower, a place of virtue that is less subject to the prejudices that afflict the rest of the world. So many "outsiders" tend to think that sexism and misogyny are absent in the scientific community. However, here and there I've seen articles written (mostly by women, but not only) about the many struggles of women that want to make it in the scientific arena. We were inclined to think that only women like Rosalind Franklin in the 50s or the many other before her were the ones that had to endure the lack of recognition, that even Marie Curie had to go through once her husband died. But to our horror, it still happens. Is not so obvious, but is still there.
A friend of mine and fellow blogger just wrote about how in an important Ecology conference, all the plenary sessions were conducted by men. (Her blog, here).
The same I noticed here at my campus of the Imperial College, all professors or senior researchers are also men. Something unusual, given that in the biological sciences there is nearly a 50/50 proportion of males and females at the undergraduate levels, being women slightly more represented. However, as a french researcher pointed out to me also recently, most women drop out of science once they reached certain age. They complete their PhDs but few of them continue to pursue a scientific career. Is it because we are less capable, or something else?
Having met a lot of bright and driven women in science, most of them young PhD students, I refuse to believe that is the lack of talent. However, the academic life is quite incompatible with family life, a goal in a lot of women's lives, that is also considered to be our main goal and mainly our sole responsibility. First, being a postdoc is hard, the salaries are not high and the contracts are short. Then there is the moving around chasing jobs that can be anywhere in the world. Try to do that with a husband and a baby. Then, to get a tenure, one has to work very long hours. Without childcare and an understanding partner, it is virtually impossible. So, for women, it is a choice between a family and a career. A choice usually men do not have to make, because they have a wife to take care of the kids.
But what about women who have made it? They are scarce, many of them are either single or childless (in Europe is common), and in some countries they still do not hold high positions in their institutions. How many female deans are there? Also a few. I can´t help to think that this represents a terrible waste of talent and of money. A waste of money spent training these female scientists that later decided to drop out because they simply could not find a way to combine to have a job they love with also having any sort of personal life. But whose fault is it? Everyone's and nobody's at the same time.
As a woman trying to make it in science and with no intention in the near future to drop out, I think we need to be more flexible. Not to expect to have the house, the golden retriever, the car and the country club membership that was supposed to be the ideal of the middle class. We chose a career that is demanding and requires sacrifice, like any other creative career, so we have to be prepared to compromise, like artists seem to be able to do without thinking too much about it. We also need to put the guilt aside and realize that the world will not end if we leave the baby with daddy for an evening, or two, or three, while we work on a paper, or need to go to yoga class. Being a model housewife and future Nobel prize winner in one is kind of unattainable. For all of this to be possible we also have to find the right partner, but that's a another topic.
Then, there is the system. Simple things like daycare centers at universities or research institutes could do a great deal. Also more flexibility with schedules and the possibility to work at home more often. This happens in many places, but in some others, people are still expected to do chair hours.
Also, some prejudices have to be eliminated. Women do not get automatically stupid once they have a child. And in general, women who behave like women are not less intelligent. Nail polish and shoe shopping are not incompatible with being able to understand Coalescent theory or multivariate statistics. Nor being polite and speaking softly. Many areas of academia are still ruled by people who think that speaking louder will make you right, and that being an asshole is a requirement to be a professor (with many many many fortunate exceptions). So, no wonder why many women convince themselves that this is not what they want not to have to put up with those things.
Obviously, the issue of sexism in science (as any form of sexism elsewhere) has no easy solution. Many attitudes need to be changed, and the change will be easier and more natural if it comes form individuals, and not from the top in the form of positive discrimination schemes that only cause more resentment.
For the moment, I will follow the advice of zombie Marie Curie and I will keep working hard.